Game Recap: The Treasure of the Templars!

From the diary of Victoria Smythe, super genius
Dear Diary,

Our latest adventure has turned out to be quite a corker. We’ve been ambushed by Nazis, arrested by Bedouin, ambushed by Bedouin, ambushed by Nazis again, well, probably best to start from the beginning.

Dr. Dickerson, whom Dr. Davenport and I worked with in Paris a few years ago (And I don’t care what the French government says, my idea to reach the moon by converting the Eiffel Tower into a space going vessel would have worked!), invited me to a talk he was giving on his specialty, the history of the Templars. As mom and dad are always telling me I shouldn’t be running around without adult supervision I invited Brianna to come along. Unlike that incompetent harridan Lady Valentine who is constantly butting into our adventures, Brianna is quite nice.

We arrived in time to see a man on a motorcycle steal a package from Dr. Dickerson and drive off. I pursued using the magnetic positioning belt while Brianna chased him in the taxicab. Brianna whipped him right off the bike and I flew after the package. Despite a truck driving me over the pavement I recovered the package. Two men in black on motorcycles then tried to get the package from me. As they were unable to move in three dimensions I easily evaded them. British science scoffs at two dimensional thinking!

When we returned with the box and the prisoner Dr. Dickerson was gone. The doorman said he had left with several men in black driving a black car. However, the doctor left a message for me to go to his house and remember out time in Paris. We questioned the prisoner, who was just a thug hired to do the snatch. He asked us not to turn him over to the constables. We agreed if he would help me test my new prototype, the electromagnetic ganglial overthruster. He moved quite rapidly for a time and though he was tired afterward there was no obvious signs of neurological damage. A brilliant success!

We went to the doctor’s house and found little of interest except a picture of Dr. Dickerson and myself. The Eiffel Tower was in the background and you could even see one of my power supplies attached to the side. That picture was taken just before we were arrested. Hidden in the picture was a note from the doctor telling us that he was on the trail of the Templar treasure but that if anything happened to him we should go to an auction and bid on lot 1307. This was a small statue of two men riding one horse. We needed money for the auction. Now Lady Valentine is always throwing money at problems not being intelligent enough for more subtle solutions so Brianna called her and arranged for a line of credit.

We went to the auction and outbid a sweaty German spy for the statue. When we tried to leave his men were covering all but one exit, an obvious trap. Brent would have simply walked in and thrashed them all so we decided to try it. The door led to the basement, full of precious artwork. The Germans followed us and without so much as yelling a threat started trying to shoot women and children in the back. Bounders! I couldn’t use dolly due to the artwork so I ran for the exit while Brianna tried to disarm them with her whip. Some Germans chased me and I thought that I’d outpaced them by slipping under one of the shelves but they crashed after me and shot my suitcase. I got to the door, but it was locked. I lost my composure there and introduced the door to dolly. The gaping hole where the door had stood led to an alley. Brianna managed to escape just before the wall collapsed cutting off that exit. 

Turns out that the bullet missed the trinitro toluene but hit the statue. It was hollow and contained a large marble with some image inside of it. Shining light through it reveled a picture of a temple with a fort in the background. An impressive bit of optics. I didn’t recognize the temple, but a couple of weeks ago I had been looking through some Napoleonic sketches of Egypt and recognized the fort.

The fort was in the middle of nowhere so we had to hire a plane in Egypt. Everything would have been fine if we hadn’t run into a sandstorm. The engines went out and the plane was going down. I went out onto the wing to try to repair it but the engine was filled with sand. However, I had a scathingly brilliant idea. I attached my sonic screwdriver to the motor and used the vibrations to drive the sand out. Even with an operating engine we still crashed but everyone leapt out in time including the pilot Rex Archer. It was quite fortunate as Rex, though not dreamy and heroic like Brent, turned out to be a good man to have in our corner.

It was quite a sticky wicket traveling through the baking, featureless desert with little water. We appeared to be saved when we found an oasis but where promptly arrested by Bedouin for using their oasis and taken to their chief. The chief turned out to be a delightful gentleman, educated at Oxford. We had tea and a nice night’s sleep and he sent some men to guide us to the fort. 

We didn’t find the temple, but set up camp in the fort. A few hours later one of the tents caught fire. The area smelled heavily of lamp oil but the initial ignition point was too large for one of the lamps. It was sabotage! We had little time to think about that though, as more Bedouin came screaming out of the night waving swords. Our cowardly guards took off with all the camels and left us to face the swordsmen. Since I had dolly I let them have it. Sand exploded around but when it settled the men were unconscious. Rex spoke Egyptian and interrogated them. They said that they were guarding the temple and that it was cursed and if we stayed till dawn we would die. Curses, really. We ignored this primitive superstition and stayed. As the sun rose we were greeted with an amazing site.

The nearby sand boiled an blew away revealing a sunken temple. The same temple in the image. When we examined it we found a section of wall marked with symbols of two men on one horse. The bricks here were loose and when we took them apart it revealed a hidden staircase. At the bottom was a huge room gilded in gold. The optics were so good my little torch illuminated the entire room. It was held up by huge pillars and filled with sarcophagi and empty shelves. There was a gold box at the other end but most amazing was the underground river running right through the middle. I sketched the room for scientific purposes and then tried examining the river.

SerpentWell diary, imagine my surprise when a giant serpent rose from the water. It had glistening metal skin, its back was covered in spines, the skeletons of warriors were still impaled upon some of them centuries after the warrior’s demise, and it had one eye the size and look of a large marble. Rex shot at it and barely managed to avoid getting eaten. Brianna jumped on its back and rode the beast like a horse. She is almost as amazing as Brent. I flew up and gave her the marble. When Brianna placed it in the empty socket the beast calmed down and sunk beneath the waves. 

I flew over to the golden box. Inside was an old note saying that no one could be allowed to get the treasure and that they were moving it to France. No mention of why, since they had the treasure they weren’t doing nefarious things with it nor why it was less likely to be discovered in France than a forgotten temple in the middle of nowhere. Brilliant at optics, but logic does not seem to have been their strong suit. We were about to leave when we heard the Germans arrive.

We hid and Brianna and Rex attacked the Germans defeating two. The rest were clumped together and no where near any load baring structure so I rendered them unconscious with dolly. The sweaty spy ordered in the rest of his men, who had submachine guns. Just then eight Anubis headed mummies rose from their graves to attack us. I couldn’t use dolly as the Germans were standing in front of the only exit, but it didn’t matter. Suddenly the room began to flood. The spy retreated ordering his men to cover his exit and block ours. Brianna tried to leap over them but failed, so pushed some down the stairs instead. I flew to Rex and used the Ganglial Overthruster on him so he would be fast enough to escape. A handy device that, to bad it shorted out moments later. I really need to look into the stability issue. I flew out but saw that Brianna and Rex were having difficulty with the last German. So I rammed him from behind and knocked him down the stairs.

We all made it out, and not a moment too soon. The temple collapsed and was swallowed by the sands of time. The Germans had arrived in two trucks but only the spy escaped, so we now have a truck.

Next stop France!

From the diary of Victoria Smythe, super genius

Dear diary,

Another triumphant victory for British science!

We arrived from Egypt at the Crusader castle. It was mostly in ruins, but we found a secret door. The stone fingers from the box acted as the key. The room beyond was filled with statues. Three of them animated and attacked us. How is it that these booby traps remain operational after centuries?

We drew them outside where I could unleash the power of dolly on them. Apparently she didn’t like the trip from Egypt. I took careful aim, and… nothing! The statues charged us with swords. I might have been decapitated if I hadn’t fallen in that hole. The statue chased me around the fort, and trampled my hat! But once I was airborne I fixed dolly and made short work of the stone terror. Brianna had entangled one with her whip. I tried to destroy it with trinitrotoluene, but it was just scratched. Ha, more like low explosives. Fortunately, Brianna and Rex made short work of the rest of the statues.

Back down the tunnel we found yet another secret door activated by the stone fingers which lead to a large burial chamber. One of the sarcophagi had an interesting carving on the lid of a knight with a scroll in his hands. Rex broke into the sarcophagi and we found a medallion. One the front it had a picture of a mountain and on the back an inscription in Latin. It turns out that Rex speaks Latin, amazingly well educated for a bush pilot. The inscription said that the treasure had been moved, again, to the land of fire and ice and that the corpse had stayed behind to guard the secret. 

We were about to leave when several armed men stormed the room and demanded that the Nazis surrender. We informed them that we were not Nazis and they seemed to recognize us. They were French police come to the fort to stop the Nazis, who apparently have spies everywhere, and they had also been tracking us. Apparently the French also have spies everywhere. You just can’t trust the continentals. 

When we got outside we were ambushed by Nazis, naturally. I dove for cover as the bullets flew and activated the atmospheric coherence unit. Thus armored I charged the main Nazi and several of his goons who were on a tower. One blast from dolly took care of the goons, and much of the tower, but the head Nazi shot me, bounder. Brianna, Rex and Captain Pierre and his men had finished off the rest of the Germans and Rex then shot the Nazi leader right between the eyes. Gruesome, but effective.

With the troops defeated we captured the zeppelin that the Germans had arrived in and interrogated the crew. It turns out that Doctor Dickerson was here in France, but not for long. The Germans had him on a private train heading for Berlin. We had to rescue him. Captain Pierre had dirigible experience so we set out by air. But the Germans tried to stop us with fighter planes. 

As only Rex and Captain Pierre had military experience they had to man the guns. That means I got to fly the zeppelin, jolly good! I also found an air captain’s cap to replace my hat. The cross winds were horrible and it handled like a lead balloon but I mostly kept us ahead of Jerry. One plane did get near and shoot out the controls, but I quickly repaired them and his guns jammed and caught on fire before he could do more damage. Typical shoddy German engineering.

NaziTrainWe escaped and I had a chance to look over the damage. Brianna may be brave, but she’s no mechanic. I’m surprised she didn’t weld herself to the hull in her repair attempts. I fixed us up enough to get to the train and Captain Pierre said he would maneuver down to let us jump on.

I flew, of course, but Rex and Brianna jumped onto the moving train. Apparently the Germans had seen us approaching in the zeppelin and climbed out on the roof to stop us. While Rex and Brianna took care of the thugs I went looking for Doctor Dickerson. I found him in one of the cars, the prisoner of the sweaty German spy. Since we didn’t need the rest of the train I vaporized the coupling. This had quite an impact as the sudden change sent Germans flying about the countryside. One came out from the cabin and started climbing up after Rex and Brianna right in front of me. Bold as you please. So I flew over and pulled him off the train. He must have hit my gyroscopic stabilizer as I spun out of control. I almost had it back when I hit that hedge row.

By the time I got back to the train it had stopped and Rex and Brianna had taken care of all but a handful of guards. They were hold up with the sweaty Nazi. We went inside to confront them and the sweaty fiend had a gun to Doctor Dickerson’s head!

He demanded that we turn over everything we had found at the fort or he would shoot the doctor. Ha, I told the blighter we would never give him what we found. When he asked what it was, I held up the medallion and said that it was ours, that we would protect it from scoundrels like him, and that his reign of terror was at an end. I, Victoria Smythe, super genius, had a scathingly brilliant plan. I inverted the effects of my magnetic positioning belt to draw all the ferrous metal in the train to me!

It’s true that I did not anticipate that the guards would let go of their guns, or that the Germans were so cheap that the silverware wasn’t actually made of silver, but my atmospheric convergence unit kept me safe. The sweaty Nazi tried to shoot me but Brianna disarmed him with her whip, sending his gun flying. Right into my solar plexus. I had anticipated a problem with the metal backed seats but not getting pinned like that. I was forced to turn off the belt, but its work was already done.

Rex and Brianna were fighting the leader hand to hand while his troops ineffectually tried to help him. I grabbed one of the rifles and tried to shoot a guard. This did not yield positive results, so I switched to thrashing the leader with the gun butt. He was distracted enough that Rex hit him in the gut and then Brianna cut open his face with her whip. It always happens when you’re wearing white. Fortunately it will give me a chance to test my new blood removal compound, my dress should look as good as new. Anyway, the sweaty Nazi was so terrified he leapt through the window of the train and fled. Without sweat to inspire their bravery, his men promptly surrendered.

Doctor Dickerson was happy to be rescued but noticed the medallion. He recognized the mountain on the front.

Next stop, Iceland!

From the diary of Victoria Smythe, super genius

Dear Diary,

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how things turned out. Again and again I have had ample evidence that Nazis and ancient Templars are..less than brilliant.

Brent finally got word that we had a corker of an adventure going and joined us in France. That meant his nephew Jimmy too, though for Brent’s sake I can put up with him. Insufferably, that pernicious harpy Lady Valentine once again butted in and joined the group.

Rex Archer had to get back to his business in Egypt. So we bid him farewell and flew up to Iceland. The mountain that Doctor Dickerson identified on the strange Templar amulet turned out to be inaccessible by plane, so we had to walk. Through bitter winds and blinding snow we made our way up the side of the mountain until we came to a Templar fort carved entirely out of ice! 

Standing above the entrance to the vast ice fortress where two gigantic statues of Templars their wrists gripped above the doorway. The only obvious approach was across a narrow ice bridge with no railing overlooking a vast chasm. Footing turned out to be impossible and everyone kept falling off the bridge which started to collapse behind us as we crossed. If we hadn’t been tied together I would have been the only one to make it across alive. As it was, only Doctor Dickerson was in any real danger as his rope finally broke, but Brianna managed to swing him to safety moments before it snapped so we all made it. Brent commented that the Germans couldn’t possibly follow us now as the only means of entry was gone. I explained that no matter how impossible, the Nazis always seemed to show up and attack us and I didn’t expect this time to be any different. As per usual, I was correct.

When the amulet was placed in the proper slot on the immense ice doors they literally vaporized before our eyes. The Templars have a sense of showmanship, I’ll give them that.

The castle turned out to be empty, but we did find an icy passage back into the mountain. Going down this tunnel, we were ambushed by ice creatures, coming right out of the walls! I was loathe to use dolly as the entire structure was made of ice. So I figured that it would be a good time to test my latest prototype, the Mimetic Reinforcement Oscillator!

I have been recording the electrical nerve impulses of people engaged in different activities, like shooting. By sending an amplified signal of the appropriate behavior into the subject’s body I theorized that I could increase or decrease their level of proficiency. So I amplified Brent’s already heroic marksmanship. It went splendidly, another triumph of British science. In retrospect I really should have tried in on Jimmy before beginning human trials, but it all worked out.

There was a brief fight ending with the destruction of the ice creatures. One had the ordasity to charge Brent so I obliterated him and another one of them with dolly. Fortunately, the ceiling remained in place.

At the end of the tunnel was a grand room made of ice and pervaded by a blue light. In the center was a giant ice table and all along the walls were rows and rows of chests, the Templar treasure. Thirteen Templar knights were in the room, though only one remained alive. When he strode forward to protect the treasure Brent assured him that we were here to keep the treasure from the evil Germans. 

The knight then showed us the Templar treasure. Much more than mere gold or silver, they collected the knowledge of the ages, books and records from Egypt, Babylon, Crete, and on and on. So much knowledge. Doctor Dickerson was on the verge of tears.

As if on cue, the Nazis arrived. There were two dozen of them lead by the sweaty one himself. He declared that the Furer knew of the Templar knowledge and that it would give birth to a new, wonderful world, controlled by the Nazis. He then decided to usher in this new world by ordering his men to kill us all. 

Dashing hero that he is, Brent charged forward and slid to cover behind the ice table while blazing with both guns at the Nazi villain. Grievously injured, the sweaty German pulled back behind a pillar while his troops moved to attack. 

On my right, Brianna ran with speed that I have never seen before and did a summersault right over the head of one of the soldiers. She then proceeded to fight three armed men with her whip. On her heels was Jimmy, pelting a German soldier with his slingshot. The Germans had obviously learned nothing from the Great War and most advanced in lines across the open room. As I said, less than brilliant. The superior mobility of British science let me easily outflank them and two discussions with dolly later, half of them lay unconscious on the floor. Meanwhile Brent had engaged the troops on my left with minor help from Lady Valentine. Very minor. The Templar knight had done something and now all of the dead knights were running around attacking Nazis. The Templar ran up to the German that Jimmy was pelting and cut him in two just as Brianna knocked out the troops she was fighting. Brent, Lady Valentine and the dead knights were attacking the remaining soldiers. 

It was then that the sweaty German stepped out from behind a pillar and shot me. Ha, his puny German weapon was no match for my superior intellect. Showing moral worthy of an Englishman, Jimmy strode into the middle of the hall, pointed his slingshot at the Nazi leader, and ordered him to surrender. Maybe Jimmy is related to Brent after all. 

The Germans were on the verge of ruin. The handful of remaining men were being swarmed by dead knights. The wounded leader actually had to consider surrendering to an eleven year old with a slingshot. It was at this moment that the Templar knight declared that the treasure was simply too important to let fall into the wrong hands and that after guarding it for centuries he had to destroy it. No, I don’t understand it either. 

He pulled a lever and steam began blasting through the floor, massive boulders of ice fell from the ceiling, and lava began to flow into the room. Everyone ran for the exit except for the Nazi leader. Like the bounder and cad that he was, he tried to grab Jimmy and hold him at gun point. Jimmy felled him with a slingshot, right between the eyes. People managed to grad a book or two as they fled. I went back to help poor Doctor Dickerson escape and to fill my suitcase with books, future historians will praise my name.

We all managed to flee the building as the fortress crumbled behind us. So there we stood, trapped on a mountainside in Iceland with the only way back an ice bridge that was no more. I shan’t bore you with the details. Let us just say that once again British ingenuity saves the day.

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